Single vs. Taken: A Comparison

Pairs Well With… Knowing what you want in life + Understanding your relationship potential

At various points in our life, we debate whether we want to be single or in a relationship. Am I ready?  Can I do this?  Do I want to do this?  Have I achieved what I want by myself? Am I a better version of myself when I have someone I love in my life?  Do I know myself well enough to be a good partner?  Will I get what I want out of a relationship?

First and foremost, before any of the above questions come into play, you must first understand which is more fulfilling and what works for your world.  And guess what?  It’s okay not to know.

Naturally, there are pros and cons to both ways of life, but the simple answer is what is in your heart, and what do you desire.  Are you happier single?  Or is the person you’re with make every day more worthwhile, memorable and lighthearted?

Where do you get the most satisfaction?

After putting pen to paper, and asking a few of my peeps to do the same, here are the top 5 benefits of being single, followed the top 5 luxuries of being in a relationship.

Top 5 Benefits of Being Single

Do what you want, when you want.  You’re on your own time, and the only calendar you need to consult is….yours!


No compromise.  You won’t have to worry about giving up your desires for someone else’s. No negotiation necessary.  (Decision for one please!)


Plentiful “me time.”  Spend time getting to you know yourself and what you want out of life.  Go on a solo adventure, try a new hobby, eat cake by the ocean or just take a load off!


Be more focused.  Relationships have the potential to take a lot of work and energy that can be put into other aspects of life such as school, work, training for a race or volunteering.  Can you spare the time on someone else, or do you need to best foot forward to achieve?


Sleep solo.  Sprawl out, use all the pillows, take all the covers. Whatever you say goes!  No more being woken up by someone’s snoring or rolling around all evening.  Your bed is your personal cloud you don’t have to share.  (Yes, this is a real thing.)


Top 5 Luxuries of Being in a Relationship

Having a partner in crime.  It’s nice having peace of mind that no matter what life throws at you, your other half will have your back.  There’s something to be said for someone that will support you, break your fall, cheer you on when you’re on top of your game or be a wild child with you when the moment strikes.


Always have a date.  No awkward or annoying first dates, flying solo at weddings and no more dinner for one where you have to order dessert to appear mysterious.


Become a better version of yourself.  Two people in a healthy, balanced relationship know just how to push one another in the right direction and make suggestions that help consider another perspective.  You understand the needs of your other half and meet in the middle in ways you may not have thought possible, but love every minute of it without it ever feeling like a chore or sacrifice.


Cool and confident conversation. When you’re in a sustainable relationship, you should be able to have conversations with someone that you can trust with your thoughts, ideas, and dreams.  From late night intimate conversations to the “we need to talk” hard ones, being comfortable, approachable and loving in your dialogue goes a long way.


Potential for falling in love.  When you start dating someone, you don’t always know what “this” is or where it’s going to go.  We have hopeful expectations that this person will choose us out of the dating pool of surrounding crazies and make our hearts flutter for the long haul.  Being in a relationship allows you to share memories, conversation, intimacy and passion on a much deeper (and fun) level.  Having someone that just h=worth the gamble because when you get it right, you realize how perfect it can be.


Which do you prefer, being single or in a relationship?

See me on the panel of The Great Love Debate in Minneapolis Thursday, May 26th!  Tickets and details found on the Pairs Well With… Facebook page.


6 Responses to “Single vs. Taken: A Comparison”

  1. amberlatimerr

    Ahh I just came across your blog and absolutely LOVE your writing! I can relate on so many levels. Keep the posts coming 🙂 This one was particularly great. If you check out my most recent blog post you’ll see I’m struggling to put a label on the “relationship” I’m currently in. The fact I go back to America in 2 months while he remains in Australia only makes it more complicated haha. Thanks again for the great read, and I’m so happy I came across your blog!

    • Pairs Well With...

      Thank you for loving my writing! It truly means a lot to have someone not only compliment my writing, but relate to it on a deeper personal level. Long distance can certainly be tricky. I’ve been there. However, it’s not impossible. Communicate, trust and believe in your situation. Anything can happen!

  2. Pairs Well With...

    Great to hear, and you are most certainly welcome. A lot of those unnecessary thoughts are how I sometimes draw my best conclusions and assessments.


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