Let Me Upgrade You

Pairs Well With…”Trading Up” by Goodwin

Growing up, I never thought I was capable of love.  Being loved, yes, but being in love, maybe not so much.  Why?  I can’t say for certain, but it was just this feeling I had. You know that feeling like when you’ve heard something before but can’t quite put your finger on where it came from?  That.

I grew up with a family that loved me and around people who cared, so the whole notion of love being scary should have been further from the “reality” that I held in my mind.  I guess it’s just something I made up without much thought or regard for why I felt this way.  But now, years later, after having been in love four times, two more deeply than I ever thought possible, realized what had been bothering me all these years; love and relationships hold no guarantees.

Why do we bank on something, put energy into, hell, our entire being into it if it’s not promised?  Banking on something with no guarantees sounds like the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard.  I want guarantees.  I want security.  Otherwise, I mine as well just gamble my heart away.  But then again, that’s exactly what we do, isn’t it?  The truth is, we double down on love and our relationships every day, in fact, we crave both.  We deserve both.  At the core, we’re all scared of the same thing – losing it.

Love is a funny thing, isn’t it?

The fact that it can be taken away or destroyed at any given moment doesn’t seem nice, much less fair.  (Insert foot stomping tantrum here.)  Maybe it’s just me, but relationships these days seem to be even more complicated than being and staying in love.

When did the whole business of love and relationships get so hard?  Or has it always been this hard?

Time travel with me a minute back to the days of “when I was your age.”  Dating seemed to be much more straightforward albeit simple.  Today, we are faced with endless apps, dating platforms, and the neverending upgrade, to the point where I wonder if long lasting relationships are a reality?  Or do people just drift through a series of relationships, looking for “something better” that they can’t quite put their finger on, but continuously chase after, until at which point they may (or may not) get married, and then maybe divorced, because isn’t the grass always greener?

Is dating today a vicious cycle of The Upgrade?

In a world where dating options are plentiful, accessible and “always on,” how much effort does one need to put in anymore?  I’d like to think that people are investing in one another, much less connecting with one another, but sometimes I look around, and I’m not so sure anymore.  I don’t know what to make of all of it.  Do you?

And so it goes, I have a right to be highly concerned as a dater in today’s dating chaos! Who wants to put their heart at the crossroads of happiness and hurt?

Love and relationships are a tricky game, but I’m not a quitter.  I even like a bit of friendly competition.  It’s when people don’t play fair that it gets messy.  And the trade up?  Be careful where you hedge your bets.  You might just find that you don’t like what’s on the other side.

What is your take on relationships and dating today?


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4 Responses to “Let Me Upgrade You”

  1. aatigogo

    I don’t think it is a tricky game, It depends on why you went into the relationship and the effort you make to build it. There is always someone who wants to be in love and have a lasting relationship.

    • Pairs Well With...

      I agree! Effort is key, and if you’re not putting it in, it’s probably not a relationship you want to be in. If you’re not receiving the effort, you can find someone better who will put it in. Thanks for your thoughts.


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